the third sex

A ladyboy friend came round on Sunday afternoon and told me she had just started working at a bar in Nana Plaza. What happened to your university course, I asked her.
 
“I got my degree and had certificate end of last year.” She made a little flourish to illustrate the presentation of the degree certificate.
 
So why aren’t you in a daytime job?
 
“No good jobs. Economy very poor. Most jobs pay small money. Work not interesting.”
 
But you have a degree in marketing, I said. Surely that must give you a choice of the type of work?
 
“Now I marketing ME!” she said, spreading her arms out and laughing. I couldn’t help but crack up at her, because she is very funny and very bright, and I’ve known her for a long time.

Ladyboys are in fact superb at marketing themselves. They have to be. Take a fairly ordinary looking young boy and imagine what it would need to turn him into a radiant girl, a sexual beauty admired by even the most heterosexual of men. Not an easy thought, is it?

But they do it. I have watched as fairly plain looking ladyboys get themselves made up for a photoshoot, or to go onstage at a cabaret, and the transformation is quite simply awesome.

This is why ladyboys are so sought after as beauticians, hairdressers and makeup artists.

Walk through the beauty department of the Emporium, or Robinson’s, or one of the big Central department stores, and you will always see at least a couple of ladyboys working behind the counter.

Visit a tv studio or a movie set, and there will be ladyboys in the makeup departments and wardrobe.

They know exactly what is needed to transform even the most ordinary person, because they have had to do the same job on themselves and they have also spent hours practicing on their friends.

Apart from the makeup of course they have to train their voices, and to learn how to speak and move like a girl.

I have heard ladyboys with gruff voices, having made no attempt to soften their tones and raise them a pitch or so, and the effect can be off-putting. I have watched ladyboys walking just like a man, rather than adopt small and dainty steps, and it ruins the illusion they have been trying to create through dress and makeup.

I have even watched as ladyboys practice female mannerisms. I remember once watching a ladyboy friend sweeping the floor with a broom and dustpan. I noticed how, rather than take the big sweeps a man might take, she made little whisking movements to get the dust into the pan, whilst keeping her knees pressed together, bending just slightly at the knee rather than stooping, and even pursing her lips while she worked.

Very telling too is watching a ladyboy using the loo. If she is taking her role seriously, she will sit down. And most of those who I have watched using the bathroom do this: you don’t get many who stand up.

Clothing of course is another area, and although many ladyboys show a shockingly garish dress sense, there is no doubt they know how to put colours and styles together.

This makes them ideal dress designers. The rag trade in Thailand is vast. Plentiful homemade textiles and the availability of cheap imports from India and China mean that there is a lot of inexpensive material to work on, and the markets and malls are crammed with stalls and small shops selling good quality fashions at low prices.

I have known a lot of ladyboys who study fashion at college and then get themselves jobs working for a fashion designer or an outfitter, and then very often going into business for themselves.

So, being a ladyboy means more than just putting on makeup. It is a massive marketing job. Many of them deserve a doctorate.

“I don’t do this very often,” she said. She was on her hands and knees on the bed. She smeared her bottom with KY Jelly, and then taking me gently in hand, guided me into position. I heard her give a little gasp as I eased my way in gently. I reached down and wrapped my hand round her cock, which hardened up straight away. For a minute or so I pulled gently at it, then as she gave a little cry it went soft and wet in my hand. A few moments later the earth moved and then I lay beside her, she flat on her tummy and me on my back, slightly down the bed so that I could carry on gazing at those pale bottom cheeks.

Fucking a ladyboy up the bum is so deliriously exciting that the very thought of it, wherever I happen to be, makes me go hot. I travel overseas a great deal, once a month on average, and it’s always the same. As soon as I land in another country the ladyboy fantasies begin to well up in my mind, the stiff little cocks and the willing little bottoms and the shy little smiles, and I can’t wait to get back to Bangkok. I am usually on the phone when I’m in the taxi heading out of Suvarnabhumi Airport, and by the early evening I’m gazing at the most perfect little bottom cheeks…

This urge to penetrate someone’s rectum is a bit odd, I have to admit. Genetic girls don’t usually like it, figuring with complete justification that they have something else much better suited to the job. Boys of course will do it, if they have a mind to, but I’m not interested in boys. Ladyboys however are built for it.

You have naturally to be gentle, because it is so easy to cause damage when you go blundering in. I have seen a great many wrecked anuses amongst the bar workers. You can never use too much KY. Also you have to go in slowly, to allow the muscles to relax . Once in, however, it is so deliciously tight. Often too tight to slide in and out, as with vaginal sex. But personally, for me, it’s as much about the visual appeal. A ladyboy with her bottom in the air and oneself embedded in the centre of it is breathtaking. A ladyboy on her back, her knees drawn up and her bottom hole looking like a small pussy, is also breathtaking. A ladyboy on her side…I could go on…

Those who follow my photosets will know that I like to get really close up to a ladyboy’s bottom, and to get her to part her cheeks and her cute little hole. This is intensely exciting for me, no matter how many times I do it. I often find, when I play the pictures back on the screen, that I have far more than I need.

I was photographing a most gorgeous little bottom a few days ago. I put down the camera, and ran my hands over the soft, warm honey-brown cheeks. The ladyboy who owned the bottom gave a little giggle and wriggle. “You want me?” she asked. I parted her cheeks and looked at the perfect little opening. I touched it with my lips, watching it dilate like a shy little flower. I explored gently with my finger. Tight, but with KY and a little finger-exercise there would probably be no difficulty.

But…”We have to finish the pictures,” I said. And I reluctantly picked up the camera. About 15 minutes later, she shot a hot white load, and after that she had lost interest in sex and she wanted to go and meet a friend. But she will be back.

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One of the best things about being me is that I get some fascinating emails. Apart from the pure salacious, the downright adventurous and sometimes the absolutely hilarious, I also get some very thought provoking and informative correspondence. The writer of this item, who prefers to remain completely anonymous, has certainly taught me some facts I did not know. My thanks go to him for sharing this information.

One of the best reasons to visit Thailand is to meet ladyboys and what better to whet the appetite and sharpen the senses than the exceptional detail of Captain Outrageous’s photo galleries? There are so many views of each model and outstanding photographic attention paid to the exotic Thai cocks in all their states, shapes and sizes. No site I’ve seen pays such homage, so well, to the Thai male member.

However, a quick dip into ethnic sexology, which has quite a wealth of scientific info on the internet, seasoned with a dash of anthropology is also fun. Bizarre practises, ancient fetishes and big regional variations in sexual expression didn’t start with the Swinging Sixties. One of my favourites is the impossibly exotic Victorian explorer Sir Richard Francis Burton who spoke 19 languages, translated the Kama Sutra from Sanskrit and was said to personally sample every tribe or race, both male and female, he ever encountered.

Like most Easterners, Thais fit into the ’smaller’ category of cock – a sizing chart where Africans reign and Europeans come second. Not to say you cannot find some really ‘big’ ladyboys but those with fetishes for the gigantic will have a longer search in the East. And one is not talking relative size, since Thais are often short in body anyway.

Africans also have the longest, most tapered foreskins, the ‘aposthion’ so admired by the ancient (and bi-sexual) Greeks. Eastern Asians have the shortest foreskins and, as a glance in the galleries quickly shows, scant aposthions that are often baggy and seldom tapered.

Circumcision is a rarity in Thailand: Thais, except for a few Muslims from the South, are never put to the ‘knife’. Indeed circumcision is completely unknown in the traditional East – and Thais are very traditional.

Eastern people also have the highest incidence of phimosis, where the foreskin opening is too narrow to retract when erect (or at all) of any ethnic group. A study of young university males in China claimed 15 percent had phimosis against a world median of around 2 percent in adults.

The Japanese take phimosis very seriously, because it’s thought rude to show a cock with the foreskin up, even to one’s girlfriend. Going through LB photo galleries might give the idea that in Thailand, it’s rare to uncover the penis at all, even (or especially) at orgasm. Here’s a word of weird cultural advice – if you ever take a traditional Japanese bath, never get in with foreskin au naturel or you will cause serious offence and probably have the water ladle thrown at your nut.

The Koreans, always averse to things Japanese and perhaps reacting to centuries of colonial invasion have, on the other hand, recently taken to circumcision with a vengeance! Yet whilst Thai LBs seem not to mind any sort of radical gender surgery, often becoming ‘post-ops’ and having their willies sliced and diced, carved and cored into a vagina and labia or breasts and buttocks blown up with silicone and even Adam’s Apples ’shaved’ (ouch) it seems they are averse to any minor operation on a tight foreskin. One told me, ‘It not good but I scared of doctor.’ Now she’s a post-op.

You’ll spot lots of gals in the Captain’s galleries or other ladyboy sites who cannot retract their foreskin or only partially. There is often no cultural basis for surgery in the Orient – Chinese traditional medicine did not, for example, teach surgery at all. Is this the reason some Thais become LBs in their teens, because narrowness of the foreskin opening makes intercourse painful or impossible, and sometimes dangerous? It also means those LBs with phimosis cannot be tops and must take the passive role. Its worth investigating by any sexologist and let me volunteer.

Forced retraction can lead to dangerous swelling and a trip to the emergency room. Famous sufferers include Louis XVI of France, who was unable to make love to Marie Antoinette for many years until he was ’snipped’. His lack of heirs, and the rumour that Marie Antoinette (understandably) chose favours elsewhere made him disliked by the masses that he later had a far more serious condition, losing his other head – to the guillotine.

Is the average tourist aware that the Thai national health service offers free, expensive plastic surgery to repair foreskins damaged in accidents (that darned zipper again!) where every other socialised medical system would just slice the wounded bit off? Or that the Thai language has some half a dozen distinct words for various foreskins at various ages and stages of life?

Whatever, a LB lover will have a wonderful time with the amazingly diverse cocks of Thailand, from the creamy white and pink ones of Chiang Mai to dark and dusky members with heads the colour of ripe plums from Issan or the South – many with teasingly tight openings, novel foreskins and every shape or colour (curved seems almost a fashion and twisted 180 degrees on the axis is not unknown) in between. As was once said of London, when a man tires of the exotically different Thai cocks, he is tired of life.

There is a piece in one of the London newspapers this morning about the increasing acceptance of India’s third sex, the hijras. The article does however make the point that although progress is being made, the hijras still face not only discrimination but hostility. Clearly, there is a long way to go before they are regarded as being equals.

In Thailand, I don’t think there is any hostility at all towards ladyboys. Individual cases do occur, of course, but what I mean is there is no general public reaction against them. A ladyboy can walk down any street and not be in fear of violent abuse. The worst she is likely to face is little kids making fun of her.

This holds true in even the rougher areas. In fact, if you walk through a Bangkok slum you are likely to find ladyboys living there, having decided that they can make more income from the sex trade than from the unskilled work that is the lot of the poorly educated working-class male.

I was thinking this over yesterday, when I was in one of the rougher parts of the city. I†was cutting through the area to visit an interesting old temple, when I saw two ladyboys walking, arms linked, along the lane. They passed a group of men drinking outside a grog shop, and rather than attract ribald comments†they†didn’t attract a second glance. At the corner of the lane was a group of motorcycle taxi riders, a tough looking bunch,†but again there wasn’t even the raising of an eyebrow. The ladyboys were simply part of the scenery. In fact, the†girls hopped onto the back of a couple of the bikes to ride off to the shops.

There are several reasons for this acceptance. The Buddhist culture, of course. The fact that ladyboys are such an accepted part of society that Thai men regularly take them for sexual partners without any qualms at all. And the sheer number of ladyboys,†which means†they are such a common†sight that no one is startled to see a ladyboy in full rig, even in the middle of the day.

Then there is the sheer beauty of so many ladyboys. There are plenty of ugly ones about, naturally, but I would say from personal experience that the greater number are attractive and that they embellish a crowded mall or busy street rather than appear as an oddity.

As I have mentioned before, there is an increasing trend on the part of employers to take on ladyboy staff and put them in upfront positions where they deal with the public. This is very indicative of the way in which the third sex in Thailand is accepted.

There is an ever-increasing number of Thai youngsters deciding to become ladyboys, and so acceptance can only continue to grow. Very little academic work appears to have been done on this very interesting subject, which is a great pity because it could provide all kinds of guidance for other countries struggling to assimilate the transgendered.

I was in Central Department Store in Rama III Road one Sunday afternoon recently. Just browsing around by myself, checking out the camera store mainly, with its mouthwatering display of vintage Leica cameras. Up on the third floor of the atrium I saw a ladyboy. She was by herself, looking over the balcony towards the escalators, obviously waiting for someone.

I liked the look of her. She was very young, very natural looking: not much makeup, and wearing a neat little grey-and-black dress. I went and stood beside her, and spoke to her softly in Thai. I said that she looked good, and that I knew she was sao prapet song, which is the polite Thai term for a ladyboy. She gave me a warm smile, not at all scared by the approach of a foreigner.

I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was waiting for a friend. I asked her if she had an hour to spare, and said that I had an apartment nearby. If she came with me, I said, I would give her some money so that she could come back later and enjoy herself with her friend.

There was no hesitation. She called her friend’s mobile and said she would be back during the afternoon. Then she gave me another beaming smile and we went outside and hopped into a taxi.

Back in my apartment she slipped out of her little dress to reveal a firm and boyish body with an exceptionally hard cock. I held it gently. It was so hot and so eager that I thought it might go off in my hand, so I turned my attention to her cute little bottom. But the situation was so explosive that everything was all over within a few minutes, she shooting what felt and tasted like an endless volume of creamy salty white-hot cum.

Then we both got dressed and she gave me another of those warm smiles, which I had come to really like. She told me she was still at school. Her family had no money. Her father was a driver and her mother worked in a noodle shop. I handed her the promised money, and she said she would treat her parents as well as going with her friend to buy a new dress and then for a meal. She went out of the door looking really happy. By the time she got back to the mall, the entire episode would have taken just an hour.

Two things. One, this was an incredibly erotic experience, enhanced by the unexpectedness. Brief encounters with a stranger can be dynamite. The other aspect is that I would never have approached a genetic girl in that way, unless she had made it clear she wanted me to. By dressing as a girl, my ladyboy friend was sending out a signal that she was available. A ladyboy does not decline sex, unless she has a very good reason.

A GG, unless she was on the game, would be frightened off by a direct approach. You could even find yourself exciting the attention of the security guards. But a ladyboy is up for adventure, sex, and the chance to make a little bit of cash. My little friend was no hooker. She was just a natural ladyboy, and for a brief hour one sunny Sunday afternoon, two people were happy.