the third sex

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She was on her hands and knees, with her bare bottom in the air. “What you want me to do now?” she asked. I scratched my head. There had to be an answer, but I simply put the camera down and told her to take a five-minute break.

“Don’t you want me?” she asked slyly, a delicate hand snaking out for my zipper. I withdrew modestly. She was attractive, but not my type. A bit too pushy, a bit too big and noisy. She came after me, tugging at my zip. But I really didn’t feel any attraction. I didn’t actually want to do anything but finish the photoshoot.

She pouted. “You don’t like me.”

You are a very nice model, I told her. Your photos look good. Here … And I grabbed the camera and quickly wheeled through the shots we had taken. That did the job. She became enchanted by her own image, and I wriggled out of a situation that I did not want to be in.

When I tell people that I don’t have sex with the models during a shoot, they look at me as if I’m slightly bonkers. Well, I wouldn’t deny that. But the fact is, I don’t. If I like a model, I arrange to see her later. But getting halfway through a photoshoot and then giving up and hopping into the sack is not what I’m there for. I need to get photo sets. I would never get any pictures done if I behaved like that.

Nor is it a case of making myself, or part of myself, into an element of the pictures. When I look at photos from other sites, if I see a big penis extending from the lower part of the frame and into my fantasy, I switch right off. I’m very happy to see as many ladyboy cocks as I can, but a photographer pushing his dick and his beer belly into the shot is an instant turnoff.

The funny thing is, that when I’m taking the photos, I’m very single minded. I don’t actually want to have sex, I want to get the job done. Although this might surprise a lot of people, I do have a lot of self-discipline. Besides, I certainly don’t lead a sex-starved existence. I am surrounded by ladyboys, and a phone call will have one of them in my apartment within the hour. So, I’m alright, Jack.

Years ago, when I was a student, I studied art at night school. One of the biggest attractions about this for me was the figure drawing classes, when a model would be hired for the evening and come in and disrobe for us. At the age of 18 or 19, and bursting with hormones, I used to go hot with desire if the model was a young and attractive one. Even if she was not that attractive, quite frankly.

I also used to disbelieve the stories that I read about photographers who specialised in glamour work, and how they primly kept their hands off the models when they were doing the shoots. But now I can understand. I have also in my career done food photography. You don’t eat what is on the table, no matter how hungry you may be: you take the photographs.

Ladyboy photography is like sex, in a way. You get the model to undress, you flatter her, coax her to get a hard-on, then you photograph her having an orgasm. After she has done that, she doesn’t feel the need for sex. Maybe I do. So, as I say, I reach for my phone and an hour later….

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.I was doing a photoshoot of a ladyboy the other day and I could see she was wearing a long wig, but didn’t think much about it. She looked pretty good.

When I had finished, she went and sat in the lounge while I took some photos of her friend. After a while, I came out to see a young man sitting on the sofa. For a moment, the cropped hair and shorts threw me completely. But it was only the fact that my model had taken off her wig, and put her long dress into a bag and was back in civvy street.

She still looked something of a cross between boy and girl, as she was effeminate. But the appearance was undeniably male.

The smoke and mirrors that go into creating the illusion of a ladyboy are an art. Not all ladyboys can do it successfully. Some can flit between the two sexes with ease. Others are totally female except for one single attribute. The spectrum is a very wide one.

Learning female mannerisms is part of the art. I remember once watching a ladyboy who was learning how to sweep the floor the way a girl would do it, rather than a male. Little footsteps, knees together, a small whisking motion with the broom, even the correct facial expression – the differences are small, but also large in their total effect.

Some (many!) of course go too far in their striving for femininity. A few weeks ago I sat at one of the open-air bars on Patpong 2 and watched a tall ladyboy sashay her way down the strip. She was wearing a black cocktail dress and had long hair, and she vamped it the whole way, in the manner Eartha Kitt might have made a stage entrance. It took her ages to wiggle her way to the end of the street, where she turned right and headed for King’s Corner. So astonishing was her performance that all the GGs from the little beer bars came out and stood in the road, watching open-mouthed.

Of course, a real girl would never have walked down the street like that. But whatever…who’s talking about reality…

Then, of course, there is the matter of using the bathroom. Standing up or sitting down? A ladyboy making a serious attempt will demurely sit. Others, especially if no one is watching, might not make the effort. I remember watching ladyboy Dew taking a pee once. She was standing up. Why don’t you sit down, I asked.

“I can’t be bothered,” she replied.

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One thing I really enjoy doing is going shopping for lingerie and sexy clothing for the models. Now, you really need to have a thick skin for this.

Although I am perfectly content browsing through the underwear section of my local department store, looking for tights, stockings, panties and nighties, from time to time I look up and realise that one or two of the store girls are gazing at me with some amusement.

I know I don’t look like the conventional husband buying sexy stuff for his wife: that kind of buyer tends to be in and out the underwear department as quickly as he can, and in a state of some embarrassment. Whereas I spend a long time browsing, in deep concentration, as I weigh up the possibilities of certain colours (the wrong colour can play havoc with skin tones – avoid orange, for a start) and see-through qualities. I go through all the racks, and the discount bins, and whatever else takes my fancy, and end up with a pile of goodies. I’m not sure what the staff think of me.

I also go to the tiny little shops in Patpong that sell stuff to the go-go dancers and bar girls. You can get some really sexy clothing there, and cheaply too, although of course as a farang I get hit up for prices far higher than the girls pay. Never mind – it’s like being let loose in a sweet shop. Again, I spend ages in the shops.

My least favourite kind of shop however is those that specialise in sex toys. There aren’t any in Thailand – they simply aren’t allowed, oddly enough. So whenever I’m in London I go to one of the well-known shops and buy a few things, but not only are they ferociously expensive they are also completely unsexy.

I browse through the racks of leatherwear and whips and costumes and dildos, and I don’t feel even a twinge. It all leaves me completely unmoved. I buy what I think will look good, then make my way home again. Sometimes it photographs well, other times I try it once then leave it at the back of the wardrobe.

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A couple of weeks ago I was in Pattaya, and I hired a jeep. Anyone who has been to this oceanside city will know exactly what I mean by “jeep”. These are locally fabricated bodies mounted on a pickup chassis, and with their overblown design and size plus their garish paintwork they look like a jeep on steroids.

Personally, I don’t much like these things. Apart from looking like Hell on wheels, they drive badly. They are sloppy to handle, and I don’t have much confidence in the maintenance work they receive. I remember once putting my foot on the brake as we approached a traffic light, and the driver’s seat shot backwards and nearly had me flat on my back.

But they do photograph well. Especially with a ladyboy in the frame. And I wanted to take young Suzie from Hi! Boss bar out for a spin and some photo taking in the countryside: you can find plenty of greenery and little lanes just outside the city limits.

So off we went, and I eventually found a field where I could park the jeep under some trees and get busy with the camera. I photographed her in the jeep, with her pants down, and in various poses. Then I wanted her to jack off. And she needed no encouragement by this time: I had been having trouble stopping her until I was ready for that sequence.

So she sprawled back in the driver’s seat and began. She has a good, big, thick dick, even though she is not an especially big girl. I got busy with the camera. She began to approach the magic moment.

Then I heard voices. I looked along the little path that ran between the trees, and there were two farm workers approaching. Now, although this is Thailand, there are some things you don’t do in public, and one of them is sit in your car wanking off.

I looked at Suzie, and just at that moment she shot a huge load. So much in fact that it spurted right over her face.

She managed to flip her skirt over her hot sticky dick and compose herself just in time, as the two workers passed the jeep with a cheery “sawadee kap!”

“Sawadee ka!” she replied.

It was only when the two workers were out of earshot that I pointed out to Suzie that she still had cum all over her hair and dripping off her chin.