the third sex

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I consider myself to be a normal, heterosexual male. I like to think that in appearance I am conventional enough (albeit devilishly handsome) and that my mannerisms, speech and so on are all those of an ordinary Englishman of a certain age.

I’m not gay, and as far as I know I don’t have any characteristics that might indicate that I am. I’m not effeminate, not camp, not prone to hissy fits or bitching. I have an obsession about Thai ladyboys, that’s all. I’m an ordinary bloke who loves girls and who especially loves girls who have something a little extra. And quite frankly, given the beauty of some of the Thai third sex, I don’t blame me.

But a few days ago, something happened that made me pause to think.

I was shooting a video of a ladyboy, Jane. Jane was very nervous and when we started the shoot she was chattering to me, trying to overcome her nerves. That was okay by me. But then she asked me if I was a man.

I laughed, and if you watch the clip here you can see the camera shaking. I thought at the time she may have mangled her words and that she was telling me she was a man. But when I played the video back on the screen, there she was asking quite distinctly, in Thai and then in English: “Khun pen pu chai labao? You a man?”

What on earth prompted the question? I couldn’t figure it out. If I was a more insecure soul I might have started worrying.

I wrote about this on the log page on the main site, and in addition to some predictably ribald emails I had one member contact me with what seems now to be the likely meaning behind Jane’s question.

He said that perhaps she was asking me if I was straight. In conversation with a couple of Thai genetic girls recently, he said that they were referring to straight men as “men” and gay men simply as “gays”.

This should have occurred to me, perhaps, and in the inverse logic of the ladyboy it makes sense.

Ladyboys regard themselves as female. Any man who is attracted to them, if you follow this line of reasoning, is therefore straight. A gay man is not interested in ladyboys, because ladyboys are feminine. Gays are interested in masculine qualities.

Ergo, by being attracted to Jane, I was a man.

It does bear out my inner feelings. And it does seem accurate when I think of the gay friends I have, none of whom have ever expressed any interest in ladyboys.

I found all this reassuring. Until I read another email from a member who had been in Phuket, and had spent time with a beautiful post-op. During the course of their relationship, he said he had told her that he actually preferred pre-op ladyboys. In that case, she had replied, you must be a homosexual.

You really can’t win. But as I said on this site a long time ago, when it comes to ladyboys, conventional logic goes out the window.

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Sargent Shameless really can be a thoughtful, intelligent kind of fellow. Oh yes he can! Alright. ALRIGHT! You wouldn’t trust him with your household cat! But he is capable of deep thinking and analysis. Sometimes. He has just sent me the following email, and I’m reproducing it here because it’s a subject that I myself have touched on before but not at length. And he does put it so well.

My first trip to Bangkok was in 1993 and I was not looking for sex. Still I was in awe at the high numbers of semi-naked (and fully naked) girls dancing and waiting to be bar-fined in any of the establishments of Patpong, Nana, or Cowboy.  Dance shifts of 20 girls were the minimum, which times two, plus waitresses, doorgirls and mamasan meant 50 plus prospective lays the moment you crossed a go-go door.  Ladyboy bars were the opposite: there were only a couple that I knew of with no more than a dozen staff each.
 
My impression over the past few years is that things are fast changing in Bangkok.  When I peek into the girlie bars in Patpong I often see as few as three girls on stage, and the same for Nana.  Also, there is little chance of finding a stunner or an 18-year-old fresh from the farm like in the old days. Completely naked girls dancing the night away are the exception (although they still exist!). 
 
Not sure why this happening…Probably economic progress like how Hong Kong up to the 1950s used to be like Bangkok and then it changed to what it is today: few bars, expensive drinks and ugly women, who will not agree to sex or, if they do, charge princely sums. 

Demographics may be at work too: birth rates have fallen sharply in Thailand over the last two decades, which means fewer girls around to go into the sex industry.  Another possible explanation is that Thai girls who do go into the sex industry prefer other venues like the Pattaya beer bars that are as well staffed as ever.
 
In contrast to the girlie go-go bars, Bangkok ladyboy bars are flourishing.  Patpong´s greatest hits are its two ladyboy go-go bars, Nana has at least four, with one of them showcasing 50 plus gorgeous ladyboys every night.  Not to mention that some of the remaining girls in the girlie bars are actually…post-op ladyboys.
 
The underlying trend in all of this is that more and more male foreigners seeking sex in Bangkok will end up doing it with a Thai (lady)boy whether they are so inclined or because available girls are fewer and less attractive.  In Pattaya as well there are more and more ladyboy venues, even if its classic beer bars with all-female staff seem to be at an all-time high.
 
In view of this, the questions I ask myself are: how long do we have left?…  If indeed the flow of girls into Thailand´s sex bars comes to a trickle, how long before Thailand becomes like Hong Kong?…And if it does, will our cherished ladyboys step in for the disappearing bargirls and fuel the dreams and libidos of yet another generation of foreign male visitors?

Not that long ago, I was sitting at one of Patpong’s outdoor bars, idly
contemplating a gorgeous ladyboy standing a few yards away trying to drum up business for a neighbouring bar. I knew her well, biblically as well as being a friend. Her name was Mel. We had enjoyed some good times together.

A British man came along and sat down next to me at the bar. I could sense he was eyeing Mel up. And she certainly was an eyeful. Tall, curvy, beautiful skin, impeccable makeup. He turned in my direction. “She really is quite something, isn’t she?” he said.

I couldn’t resist it. “Not bad for a feller,” I commented.

I heard a dull clunk as his jaw hit the ground. “NO!!” he said. “You don’t mean….” And he began spluttering in his beer. “Who would have thought it possible?” he said.

At that point, if you are totally straight and have only ever had sex with genetic girls, and only ever wanted to have sex with genetic girls, you can cross a boundary into unknown territory and find out a little more about the world and about yourself too.

I knew all about Mel’s long, elegant dick and her sweet little bottom and her soft little tits. I knew that she was a real sweetheart, and that being with her, even if you had done everything you could do and were simply sprawled out reading a book, was a pleasure. In other words, she was a classic example of the third sex.

I waited to see if the British visitor rose to the bait. I saw Mel glance in my direction, smile, and then turn a sunny smile upon the visitor. I sensed him shift on his bar stool. He drained his beer and paid his chit. He got to his feet.

Then he walked away in the opposite direction.

He didn’t know what he was missing.

I have just come back to Bangkok from a three-week overseas trip, and having been without any ladyboy company for such a long period of time I called one of my favourite ladyboy friends and asked her to come round and see me that same evening.

She duly turned up, and I instantly peeled her clothes off until she stood there wearing nothing but a smile.  I gazed at her, suddenly overawed by her beauty. She is very slender and very pale-skinned, with prominent nipples, one of the cutest bottoms I have ever seen and a cute little dick that springs into action if you so much as look at it.

At that moment, if I had my ladyboy friend and an identical genetic girl standing side-by-side, I would have chosen without hesitation the ladyboy.

It’s at moments like this that you realise just how sensual a ladyboy can be.  I still love women, and I still look at girls all the time. I don’t like men, and the idea of having sex with an adult male is as yukky to me as it is to any completely straight guy.



The ladyboy is an exotic, erotic creature. A Thai friend of mine, a man who is content with his wife but who sometimes has sex with ladyboys, says there is an explosive element to it. “It’s a very potent mix of chemicals and heat,” he said. “Plus, there is something of the forbidden about it.”

As for me, I would find it very hard to exist without them. Three weeks away from ladyboy company was pretty tough – I travel a lot, but I’m usually away for only a week at a time, which is survivable. Just about.

A friend of mine was in town during the summer break. A Brit who lives in Hong Kong and who is a journalist, he had come to Thailand to visit a monastery that holds a regular fair devoted to the art of tattooing. He doesn’t speak Thai, and he was travelling alone. Wandering around the fair, watching the tattoo artists plying their trade on the large number of Thai men who thronged the grounds, he gratefully accepted the offer of a seat from one of the stallholders.

He thought something might be amiss when it was indicated that he might like to take off his shirt, and this was confirmed when the tattoo needle began pricking into his back. To cut the story short, he now has a beautiful Buddhist tattoo between his shoulder blades. You’re not even a Buddhist, I told him, when he showed me. It would have made more sense if you had had a pair of tits tattooed on your back, or the Manchester United badge. That would be more in keeping with your religion.

“Har har har,” he replied. “I’ll have you know this is an entry-level Buddhist tattoo, and now I can have any other tattoo I like. I could even make myself bullet-proof with the appropriate tattoo.”

Thais have always, throughout their history, taken tattooing very seriously. Time and time again, I will be photographing a ladyboy and I will see a tattoo: very often a tiny, personal little tattoo such as a small swastika on the inside of the right ankle, a tiny T-shaped mark or character on one of the fingers, or a more elaborate religious symbol on an arm or the back.

Very often these are not particularly aesthetic: some of them look as if they were done with a biro. Others however are very fine little pieces of artwork, and I wonder what their significance is – my knowledge of Thai not being good enough to understand metaphysical matters, for these tattoos do have a spiritual significance.

Then again, there is the fashion for pictorial Western-style tattoos. This started to become evident in Bangkok a decade or so ago. Now of course there are tattoo artists everywhere. This style of tattoo has become popular amongst ladyboys, and some of them seem to regard themselves as a living canvas.

I frequently discover a large tattoo on a shoulder blade when I am taking photographs. Dragons are an especial favourite. My very dear friend Ice, who appears on the main site many times, has a swirling dragon pattern running horizontally across the base of her spine. I was really depressed when I saw she had had that done, because she has a most beautiful bum and to my mind that ugly bruise-coloured tattoo detracts from it.

Prize for the ladyboy with the most tattoos goes to Apple, also on the site in two sets. I have known Apple for more years than I care to remember, and for quite a while we had a steamy affair going. She was a gorgeous girl. Then she went off the rails a bit, and I lost track of her. When she re-emerged a couple of years ago, she had become The Amazing Illustrated Lady. Much as I love her, I find it all pretty off-putting.

Anyway, I have resolved to have the official Thai name for Bangkok tattooed on my willy. The longest place-name in the world, it is: Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Phiman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit.

It would, of course, only become completely visible when I am looking at a ladyboy.