the third sex

Early last week I had a call from Dai, who appears on the main site in a couple of sets, and who I have known for about 10 years. In fact she was one of the handful of models I photographed for a test run when I first started taking ladyboy pictures, so that shows you how long I have known her. A year ago Dai had moved back to her home province of Sakorn Nakhorn, in Issan. I had kept up with her by occasional phone call, as she is a good friend and I thoroughly enjoy her company. But I hadn’t seen her in that time.
 
Now, she said, she was going to be in Bangkok for the weekend, following a sad trip she had to make to Chiang Mai for the funeral of a friend. I met up with her on Sunday, and she really hasn’t changed much physically over the years, even though she is nearing 30. I thought I would mention all this because many people ask me what happens to ladyboys as they get older, and it is not that often I can come up with specific cases.
 
Dai had worked for all the time I knew her as a cashier in King’s Castle I, in Patpong. She wasn’t really part of the ladyboy scene, and the bar is of course a girlie go-go bar. Her job was shepherding visitors to their seats, getting in the drinks, taking the money. One of the foot soldiers of Patpong. Although a naturally good looking person, with very fine bone structure and pale skin, and with a good working knowledge of English, she has always been hopelessly lacking in confidence. Just a natural shyness, which actually is one of the reasons I have always liked her so much.


But after 10 years working in the same bar, she had had enough. I think there were other pressures, too, maybe from home. Whatever, Dai had suddenly decided she wanted out from Patpong and she headed back to Sakorn Nakhorn.
 
Meeting up with her on Sunday night, I asked her what she was doing now.
 
“I help my mother. She sell fruit in the market.”
 
What, in the town or the village?
 
“In the town. My family is from the town.”
 
Do you have a boyfriend?
 
“No. Have friends to go out and enjoy myself but no boyfriend. Thai men always trouble.”
 
Are you bored?
 
“No. I always miss my home and my town. Bangkok very big, cannot live well without a lot of money. And in Patpong I work every night, only have two or three nights off each month. Work late, so sleep in the morning. Then go to work about five o’clock. So not really have much time to enjoy.”
 
What about later? What will you do in 10 years time?
 
“I don’t know! But now everything is okay. The market good place to work, have many friends there, my mum is okay she not very old. Maybe later we have shop. But I live at my home, very comfortable, not like small room when I worked in Patpong.”


As Dai talked, I realised that she was simply the home-loving type. She had no need to be in a live-in relationship with anyone, because she is basically a self-contained person who enjoys the company of a few friends and her family. She has never been ambitious, because if she was she would not have worked in the same bar for 10 years. She has never been a flamboyant ladyboy: the only clothes I have ever seen her wear are jeans and T-shirts. She wears very little makeup, because her skin is pale and doesn’t take heavy colouring very well. She is not the over-effeminate, gossiping type of ladyboy. She takes no hormones, as they disagree with her. She had a boob job done a few years ago, but it is a good quality one and has settled in naturally. The lack of hormones means that her dick, one of the most physically beautiful I have ever seen, has retained its shape and potency. 
 
She is the natural melding of boy and girl that I find so attractive. A long time ago, she told me that she knew from the age of eight that she would be a ladyboy, and she has simply grown up with a female mentality.
 
In some ways, Dai is a classic case of what happens to a ladyboy when they decide to leave the scene. Most ladyboys have their roots in the provinces. Returning to the peaceful town or village where they spent their formative years must be very attractive to many, because let’s face it, the Bangkok ladyboy lifestyle must be a mind-bending experience.  The opportunity to be back amongst family and friends, to open a small business, even to sell fruit and flowers in the local market must be like balm to a soul that has been seriously tested for too many years.