the third sex

My maid told me a funny story yesterday, about one of the ladyboys who appears on the main site. The ladyboy is a close friend of her family and is, my maid says, a very kind and good person. A real lady, she says.

Anyway, the ladyboy has her own small apartment and her Thai boyfriend is living there with her. They are both in their early 20s. The boyfriend does no work, living off the earnings of the ladyboy, who gives him pocket money. This arrangement appears to have been initiated by the ladyboy herself, although the boyfriend does not appear to object.

But he does not enjoy a life of luxury. He does all the housework, and the shopping, and the cooking and the laundry. Further, the agreement is that when the ladyboy wants to bring a john back home for a few hours, the boyfriend has to make himself scarce. Yet the boyfriend is not allowed to bring girls, boys or ladyboys back home and is in fact forbidden any other relationships.

“Everything upside down”, said my maid, who finds the whole thing hilarious. Then for good measure adding her usual refrain: “Thai man no good.”

Now, I have on occasions voiced my own opinion of the average Thai male, and out of respect for your delicate ears I will not repeat it here. But, essentially, my views are along the same lines as those of my maid.

She went on to say that this is a familiar pattern amongst Thai girls who work the bars and, increasingly, amongst ladyboys and also gay boys who work the sex trade. They all lead busy lives and need someone at home to keep the place running. A boyfriend who is happy to be a househusband appears to be the growing norm.

My maid added that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find completely straight young men these days. This is the feedback she gets from her very wide circle of friends. If you see a handsome young guy, she says, he is likely to be either gay or bisexual.

I asked her the old question I have asked on so many occasions: why, why, why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand?

She shrugged. Even she does not know. Many make the choice for commercial reasons, she says, but with many others it is natural and is detected early. A few weeks ago on this blog I mentioned her nephew, who is nine years old and who the family is convinced will grow up to be a ladyboy. The signs are all there, they say. Personally, whenever I have met the lad he seems perfectly nice and polite and normal. But, of course, there is no way I could tell from a casual observation.

I wonder if it is something in the Thai water supply?