the third sex

“Ah, Khun Captain,” said the general manager of the hotel, with the kind of enthusiasm he might have experienced seeing a new pimple on his face when looking into the shaving mirror.

I have been using his hotel for photoshoots for the past five years. He knows what I get up to in his rooms. But I never frighten the horses, I’m smiling and friendly to his staff, and I’m a regular customer. Business is business.

How’s your occupancy rate right now, I asked him as I checked in.

He shook his head. “Bad,” he said. “About 20, 25 percent.”

That is bad, certainly, although I know of leading hotels in Bangkok with less than that, and I have heard of at least two who in recent weeks have had zero guests. None. Zilch.

I went for brunch last Sunday at a very well-known hotel in the centre of town, and there were only two other people in the restaurant. I know of hotels that are laying off thirty percent of their staff.

The political crisis here has devastated the tourism industry, and the global economic crisis has done the rest of the damage. Thailand always bounces back quickly enough from the Thais’ unfortunate propensity to shoot themselves in the foot, but given the dire state of the international markets, this time there is no real end in sight to the misery that the Thai hotels are currently experiencing.

As I sit here writing this, there is news that government troops have opened fire on Red Shirt protestors. The Red Shirts are insisting that the government dissolves itself and that the prime minister leaves the country. When I came home yesterday afternoon, Sukhumvit Road was locked solid with traffic, there were pickups full of Red Shirts, and the police were out in droves.

I couldn’t get a taxi, so I hopped on a bus. The ticket collector said the rides were free that day, presumably to help mobility in and out of the crowded zones. She warned me about the jams, but I live in a part of town that is not affected by the uprising. I got off the bus at the Klong Toey port district and, as there were still no taxis around, I hopped on another bus that took me home. Actually, the entire journey was quicker than my usual taxi ride.

You might think this is not a good time to visit Thailand. You would be very wrong. As far as foreign visitors are concerned, you are as welcome here as ever. The strife is solely a Thai affair. Stay away from the trouble points, where you might get mixed up in the crowd, and you would scarcely be aware anything was wrong.

Hotel rates have never been so low. Visit Thailand now, and you will get marvelous deals. Low rates, three nights for the price of two, free upgrades and so on.

And also, of course, the entertainment venues are suffering. Visit one of the Bangkok ladyboy bars, and you could well be the only customer. The girls are anxious for any business they can get. The customer is king. That means you.

For the past few weeks I’ve been making a point of asking ladyboys who work in the bars about the level of business. Many customers coming to your bar, I ask. No, they always say, Very, very quiet right now.

Bangkok and Pattaya are hard hit. Phuket is not suffering quite so badly, as it is perceived as being far away from the domestic political turmoil, but things are still very slack down there.

So! Book your flight now! Whatever else you were planning on doing for your summer vacation, drop your plans and come to Thailand!