the third sex

Schoolgirl O

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There was a rather pathetic story in the Pattaya Mail recently about a ladyboy arrested for stealing money so that she could pay for a boob job.

Personally, I can take or leave ladyboy boobs. Many is the time I have been photographing and the model has said to me apologetically, as she started to undress: “I no have breasts.” And I have always replied that I didn’t really care, and that a lot of people I know who love ladyboys also don’t care too much either.

Although of course the startling combination of breasts and penis is often what makes a really good ladyboy photograph, I just don’t find implants sexually exciting. To me, they are just….implants.

There are varying degrees of quality when it comes to breast implants. Ladyboys who are able to afford a Rolls-Royce job will end up with soft, rounded breasts that look and feel very much like the real thing. But these aren’t cheap, and I don’t see many of them.

Most will go for the medium-range job, which costs around 40,000 to 45,000 baht. The result here will often be pretty good, but it’s a bit hit and miss. I have known cases in which one of the sacs has leaked, which of course is very dangerous. I once had a ladyboy friend turn up with only one breast, explaining that there had been a leak and the doctor had removed the faulty sac for repair. The effect was so bizarre that I was rendered temporarily impotent.

With many of the medium-price jobs, the surgeon fails to align the nipples, so that they point in different directions. Sometimes you can feel the place where the sac rests against the breastbone, which always makes me feel queasy. And constant massage of the breasts is needed for a few weeks after the operation so that the implants settle in and soften up, friends often being seconded to help out, which is nowhere near as erotic as it sounds.

The cheaper range, costing about 20,000 to 25,000 baht can be distinctly iffy. Sometimes the breasts are as hard and round as watermelons, pointing at the ceiling like missiles when their owner lies down. Heaven knows what is inside the sacs, but industrial silicon cannot be discounted. I feel sorry for girls who have this type of boob job done, as the result is neither convincing nor sexy.

Natural breasts that are the result of taking female hormones over a period of time can be very attractive. Schoolgirl O had the most perfect example I have ever seen: perfectly shaped natural breasts that had not a hint of silicon. I have seen other pretty good examples, and I have even known several ladyboys who could lactate. One girl I remember could squeeze her breast and literally squirt a thin jet of milk.

But of course, the taking of hormones to form breasts has its corollary in the downstairs department. Inwardly I groan when a ladyboy removes her bra to proudly display neat hormonal breasts, because I know that when the panties come down there is not going to be anything correspondingly impressive there.

One thing that all ladyboys have in common is the urge to display their busts in public. Time after time after time, I have seen ladyboys walking down the street in broad daylight with their breasts hanging out of their blouses or T-shirts, and without a hint of embarrassment. That is what marks out a ladyboy who might otherwise pass as a genetic girl. But they never learn.