the third sex

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One of the pleasures of running this site is the lively and often provocative correspondence I get. A regular writer is someone calling himself Sergeant Shameless. Often he is indeed shameless. That is what you get for allowing the non-commissioned ranks to run amok. But the other day he sent me the following highly interesting item, and I asked him if I could reproduce it here. He gladly agreed, even though I declined to pay him, and I have a suspicion we might be hearing more from him later.

Many Thais are mystic and superstitious, and the ladyboys we love, being young and with limited education, are even more so. I would like to share an interesting experience I had, and stress how important it is not to laugh off their beliefs even if they seem crazy to our rational and sceptical Western minds.

On a recent trip to Bangkok I was joined by a ladyboy sweetheart of mine, who says I am the one for her, even though we have different lives continents apart (and no! I don’t send her any money!). We actually met in the context of a threesome, when a ladyboy I dated (and now a big-cock internet superstar) brought her along.

You may not believe it if I say that we got feelings for each other as we made love with me being the ham in a ladyboy sandwich. Well it happened! And the truth is that I care for her enough to give her advance warning of my comings to Thailand and set time to enjoy with her alone. This last trip, I chose to stay with her for four days and nights, in what was another marathon of round-the-clock sex as only a ladyboy-in-love can give you.

Read more »

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As an Englishman, writing on the subject of ladyboys I sometimes have a problem when I consider that half of the members of this site are American.

Writing in praise of a beautiful bottom, I would naturally use the English word “bum”, which has been in currency since the middle of the 14th century as a slang term for the buttocks. Americans however would consider that I have added a sexual interest in hobos to my list of perversions, and in vain I would protest that they have been using the word “bum” to describe a tramp or loafer only since the middle of the 19th century.

In fact even the British have taken to using the American meaning, at least when using phrases such as “bumming a lift” and “bumming around.” We even say “what a bummer” when something goes wrong, although to persons of a certain age a bummer is a homosexual. This however belongs to the days before a homosexual became a gay, and quite likely no longer raises a snigger amongst English schoolboys.

(”Gay” however does raise a snigger even amongst those old enough to know better when it is spotted in its original innocent meaning, which lasted up until the 1960s.)

I am not able to use the word “ass”, because for the English an ass is a donkey. I am on shifting sands here, I do admit, because “ass” has also been used in England as a variation on the word “arse” for many hundreds of years. In fact, the word “donkey” was coined at some time in the late 18th century to remove the potential for embarrassment when talking about a beast of burden. But to modern-day Brits, an ass is still either a small horse or a stupid fellow, and has little or no sexual connotation.

I am not able to use the American term “buns” as this is the product of a bakery and has no sexual meaning, while a “butt” is to us a barrel in which we hold rainwater. If I use the French word “derriere”, which I think is really rather sexy, bringing to mind saucy French maids and frilly knickers, I might completely mystify a lot of people, and cause many more to think I am being precocious.

Why do I suddenly raise all these questions of language? Well, I have just spent a highly enjoyable but chaste four-week holiday in London where, kept indoors for much of the time by freezing cold weather I wallowed in a biography of William Shakespeare and also a large tome on the history of London and its various dialects, both purchased with book tokens gratefully received as Christmas presents.

So, to sign off I will defiantly reproduce this piece of doggerel spotted recently in a British newspaper and purporting to be the translation of an old Middle Eastern poem:

There is a shepherd boy over the river
With a bum like a peach
And he’s waiting for me
But I cannot swim.

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Apple came back quickly because I had some very nice emails about her first set. Apple and me go back a long time, so I have been really pleased to catch up with her again. She is still working at a snooker bar in Patpong

I’m still in cold, frosty London for a few more days. I took a walk to my neighbourhood pub this evening, where I met up with the local hooker (I live in a colourful part of London when I’m there). She is a lady of about 60 years, usually drunk when spotted in the pub, but still in good condition. Blond hair, trim figure, could pass for 40 in a good light.

I had never had a proper conversation with her before, but this time she was alone and standing by the bar, and three sheets to the wind. So I got talking to her. She asked me what I did. I explained that I was a writer and photographer. She asked me what kind of photographs I took. Er, travel, industry, a bit of glamour, I said, because I seldom let on with what I really do.

“Sex?” she asked.Well, erm, yes, I said.

Would you take my photo, she asked, urgently.

I explained that I was only in London for a couple more days and that I didn’t have my cameras and lights with me, but that I would be back in about six weeks time and I would be happy to do it then.

She was wearing black thigh boots and a black PVC coat (I’m not making this up). Suddenly I could see myself producing some very erotic photographs of this lady, and having myself a fun time into the bargain. She went on to tell me what she would like.

“Deep,” she said “Real deep. As kinky as you like. I like bondage and sadism, and I like being spanked.”

I watched her getting more and more into the idea of being photographed in the wildest poses. She clutched her glass so hard as she spoke I was afraid it would shatter. And yes, I could see how the pictures could work, because she has very pale skin and very blond hair, and if you match that with black leather it is going to work.

We swopped phone numbers. I know what will happen, and I’m going to need a tab of Viagra when I get round to doing the shoot. It would be even more sexy if she had a cock, but hey! It’s art, right?

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I get emails from time to time asking how to meet young ladyboys who are college or university students, rather than the professionals who work in the bars. Are there pubs and clubs where they congregate, people ask me.

Many years ago, before I really became involved with the ladyboy scene away from the bars, I used to think the same thing. That there must be places near to the universities where ladyboys gather, and consequently if I was to hang around there myself, I would find some sweet company.

But, as I was to discover, this is not the case. Our thoughts are coloured by our own experiences. Although students in Thailand are like any others, gathering in like-minded groups, there is not really the kind of pub and bar scene that we are used to in the West.

In fact, as many of the Thai students are from genuinely poor backgrounds, they eke out what money they do have on food on rent, rather than spend it on booze. And, generally speaking, ladyboys do not drink – not the young ones, anyway. They are far too concerned about their appearance. Rather than getting plastered, they will spend what spare money they do have on makeup and clothes.

Of course they enjoy music and dancing, but if they do go out it will be to a place unknown to any Western traveller, where English is not spoken, and where any Caucasian would be a distinct and conspicuous oddity. Even in RCA, the avenue of entertainment places in Bangkok where young Thais tend to congregate, a foreign visitor will feel uncomfortably prominent.

Student ladyboys tend to congregate on campus, where because there are so many of them they often have their own bathroom facilities, or they get together in their own rooms. As they tend to stay together in groups, you will often find a large number of ladyboys rooming in the same apartment building. Find one of those, which will usually have its own coffee shop, and you can meet students.

But really, the best way is to hook up with a young ladyboy from one of the bars. Often you will find she really is a student trying to make some money. These girls are not necessarily hardened hookers. And if she herself is not a student, then she will probably have friends who are. If you are spending any length of time in this country, and you really want to meet young and non-commercial ladyboys, this is the route to take.