the third sex

Seldom do you find any kind of rational and unbiased discussion about ladyboys in the mainstream media, so I was particularly interested to see a brief item in a recent issue of Thailand Timeout, written by their Agony Uncle, Dr Feelgood.

A reader had written in to say that during a visit to a Bangkok bar, he had been fooled into thinking that a ladyboy was a GG. The problem was, said the reader, he actually felt attracted to her.

I don’t know who Dr Feelgood is, but he is a very perceptive writer. I’m quoting directly from his answer.

“Thai kathoeys can be split usefully into three groups. The first, probably the most numerous, consists of those who are readily identifiable as male. Now I suppose if you were attracted to this type, you would have to be at least bisexual – but then it’s unlikely you would be unaware of this before arriving in Thailand.

“The second group, also quite numerous, are kathoeys who don’t appear masculine exactly, but have that distinctive ‘ladyboy look’ about them. Kathoeys of this type give some real meaning to the notion of the ‘third sex’.There’s no doubt that some of them can be very beautiful, but I don’t think too many people would readily confuse them with girls. I have no idea how sexual attraction to them should be categorised – it’s a species that doesn’t really exist in the West, and I don’t think Western languages and ideas about sexuality are adequate to deal with it.

“The third group is probably the smallest – ladyboys who really do look like girls. Some of these are quite astonishingly convincing. They can be very beautiful and very sexy.

“Now I would define attraction to this third group as wholly heterosexual in nature. You think you are dealing with a gorgeous young female and you respond accordingly. Matters become a little more complicated if you then discover that ’she’ is really ‘he’ but remain attracted. But lust is a primitive mental function, one that has absolutely nothing to do with the cognitive faculties.

“I’m amazed that so many foreign men get their knickers in such a terrible twist about this. Almost any straight Thai guy, fooled by a kathoey, will just laugh and treat the matter as of no consequence whatever.

“You are not gay. And from what you say, you are not ‘bi’ in any meaningful sense either. This just isn’t worth all the angst.”

The other day I was in a five-star hotel in Bangkok, attending a function, when I realised that two of the hotel girls taking care of the guests in the meeting room were in fact ladyboys.

Most of the guests were from overseas and quite possibly unaware of the ladyboy phenomenon, and I amused myself for a while trying to picture their reaction if they discovered what was under those neat hotel uniforms.

The two ladyboys themselves were behaving in a very demure manner, and it was only my enhanced ladyboy vision that picked them out. I watched them, and they knew that I knew, but nothing apart from some inviting sideways glances came out of the encounter.

But I did get to thinking how ladyboys are moving more and more into the mainstream. Pictured on the main site are many students, and they are not all studying beauty and fashion, two of the traditional industries in which mainstream ladyboys make a living. Some are studying marketing, travel and hospitality, accounting, business administration, and other subjects that for want of a better word can be described as totally straight.

1This means that when they leave college or university, they will be well qualified to find mainstream jobs, and embark upon the kind of well-paid, well-respected career that is increasingly open to young Thais, as the country’s economy develops.

The other day I was in the back office of another five-star hotel, and found a ladyboy holding a job of considerable responsibility in the management team. I went into a bank a week or so ago, and one of the tellers was a ladyboy.

I recently saw a ladyboy as a sales agent in a real estate company, and I have seen ladyboy tour guides and travel agent counter staff. I have a ladyboy friend who teaches dance and drama at a junior school, and another who is greatly enjoying her career with one of the big IT distributors. She was offered the job when she left uni, and her employers obviously think well of her, because they fly her around Thailand to deal with corporate customers on a face-to-face basis.

In other words, the acceptance is growing. A few years ago, the idea of a ladyboy holding a job in which she dealt with the public on a regular basis would have been a bit far-fetched.

This is all very heartening. Of course, there is no reason at all why a person of the third sex should not have a satisfying and well respected career. Only prejudice. But with the increasing number of ladyboys in Thailand, and the fact that so many of them are opting for further education, perhaps it is inevitable.