the third sex

Seldom do you find any kind of rational and unbiased discussion about ladyboys in the mainstream media, so I was particularly interested to see a brief item in a recent issue of Thailand Timeout. This is care of their Agony Uncle, Dr Feelgood, who was replying to a reader who claimed he had been fooled into thinking that a ladyboy he met in a bar was a GG. The problem was, said the reader, he actually felt attracted to her.

I don’t know who Dr Feelgood is, but he is a very perceptive writer. I’m quoting directly from his answer, although I have edited it for reasons of space.

“Thai kathoeys can be split usefully into three groups. The first, probably the most numerous, consists of those who are readily identifiable as male. Now I suppose if you were attracted to this type, you would have to be at least bisexual ­ but then it’s unlikely you would be unaware of this before arriving in Thailand.

The second group, also quite numerous, are kathoeys who don’t appear masculine exactly, but have that distinctive ‘ladyboy look’ about them. Kathoeys of this type give some real meaning to the notion of the ‘third sex’. There’s no doubt that some of them can be very beautiful, but I don’t think too many people would readily confuse them with girls. I have no idea how sexual attraction to them should be categorised ­ it’s a species which doesn’t really exist in the West, and I don’t think Western languages and ideas about sexuality are adequate to deal with it.

The third group is probably the smallest ­ ladyboys who really do look like girls. Some of these are quite astonishingly convincing. The feminine persona of some runs so deep, they move instinctively like women. They can be very beautiful and very sexy.

Now I would define attraction to this third group as wholly heterosexual in nature. You think you are dealing with a gorgeous young female and you respond accordingly. Matters become a little bit more complicated if you then discover that ’she’ is really ‘he’ but remain attracted. But lust is a primitive mental function, one that has absolutely nothing to do with the cognitive faculties.

I’m amazed that so many farang men get their knickers in such a terrible twist about this. Almost any straight Thai guy, fooled by a kathoey, will just laugh and treat the matter as of no consequence whatever.

You are not gay. And from what you say, you are not ‘bi’ in any meaningful sense either. This just isn’t worth all the angst.”